I saw it on the TV news, it popped up on my phone
Another death in China, outside the danger zone
Then updates from the WHO saying to stay calm
Well I do not trust experts, and I am alarmed
What’s the current death rate, I mean compared to flu?
Is it higher or lower and can we trust that too?
I heard someone coughing, I swear I heard a sneeze
Quick, keep your eye on them if they start to wheeze
Is that an inhaler, if it’s not then let’s go home
I don’t want that virus, I’d rather be alone
I saw a woman on twitter who heard it comes bats
But Douglas told me it’s from snakes and I agree with that
It’s too late now, I fear we are all doomed
They didn’t manage to contain, and now it has mushroomed
We’ll all be dead within the month just you mark my words
Now don’t you shake your head at me, did you just mouth absurd?
It’s true, it’s a pandemic and I’ve seen ‘nough films to know
That it’s like a domino rally, one goes, then they all go
Oh what’s this a breaththrough, thank Christ we’ll all be saved
We must all thank Jesus in whose image we are made
But what about the scientists? It’s probably them to blame!
In the quest for breakthroughs they play life like a game
I’ve had enough of experts, we’ve had enough of those
Trying to tell us what to think, well I think I oppose
Their ideas of right and wrong, that they know more than me
Well I read the daily mail and we respectfully agree
We need to keep out forr’ners, they warned this day would come
The NHS can’t cope with this and we can’t be overrun
With those healthcare tourists who’ve come to steal our care
They started this with their weird food, they should stay over there
We are a little island John we need to put us first
If we let in others John, it will only get worse
And after the pandemic, if we make it through
Let’s move to mainland Europe
Start over somewhere new.