I saw it on the TV news,  it popped up on my phone

Another death in China, outside the danger zone

Then updates from the WHO saying to stay calm

Well I do not trust experts, and I am alarmed

What’s the current death rate, I mean compared to flu?

Is it higher or lower and can we trust that too?

I heard someone coughing, I swear I heard a sneeze

Quick, keep your eye on them if they start to wheeze

Is that an inhaler, if it’s not then let’s go home

I don’t want that virus, I’d rather be alone

I saw a woman on twitter who heard it comes bats

But Douglas told me it’s from snakes and I agree with that  


It’s too late now, I fear we are all doomed

They didn’t manage to contain, and now it has mushroomed

We’ll all be dead within the month just you mark my words

Now don’t you shake your head at me, did you just mouth absurd?

It’s true, it’s a pandemic and I’ve seen ‘nough films to know

That it’s like a domino rally, one goes, then they all go

Oh what’s this a breaththrough, thank Christ we’ll all be saved

We must all thank Jesus in whose image we are made

But what about the scientists? It’s probably them to blame!

In the quest for breakthroughs they play life like a game

I’ve had enough of experts, we’ve had enough of those

Trying to tell us what to think, well I think I oppose

Their ideas of right and wrong, that they know more than me

Well I read the daily mail and we respectfully agree

We need to keep out forr’ners, they warned this day would come

The NHS can’t cope with this and we can’t be overrun

With those healthcare tourists who’ve come to steal our care

They started this with their weird food, they should stay over there

We are a little island John we need to put us first

If we let in others John, it will only get worse

And after the pandemic, if we make it through

Let’s move to mainland Europe

Start over somewhere new.     


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